loner

A Certain Kind of Solitude

~ Emma

A certain kind of solitude my soul requires.
Silent but full of sound. Quietly loud.
A way for the mind to rest among raging fires.
The burden of people, is it shameful? I am sometimes not proud.

Proud I am though of what I know of what I need.
It’s simple and beautiful and kind and uncluttered.
It’s pure, honest, a chosen loneliness, my good deed.
The seagulls arrive, the crows walk with me, the wings they are fluttered.

Water is a sacred vessel, a portal, a connection to the divine.
My spirit swims and dances and forges a path against the grind.
Leave your words inside, don’t clutter my mind, I resign.
Hydrated with silence, not isolation, not fearful avoidance, but a found that I always find.

To watch the leaves, to sing with the sea, to listen to animals.
Have you heard the voice of an orca, the greeting of a feline, the dialogue of a goose?
The creatures that delight us, teach us, need us, require so minimal.
When you strip it down, let it go, stop asking, stop waiting, stop talking, stop needing, that’s the juice.

Take a walk, call yourself on the phone, talk to her, listen to her, be her hero.
A certain kind of solitude holds no mystery, no questions, requires no logic.
To share and bring forth the gifts from within: abandon the recipe, begin with zero.
Depletion is mended by repletion from the elements, the true magic.

Do not tell me when you have never been keen. You can never know what has never been.
Push to fill a space and a hole that was never meant to be filled.
The hole is beauty, it’s sacrifice, it’s bold, it’s a story that is deserved to be seen.
The comfort in a space so vibrant, so sure, so opposing, it is warm and never chilled.

No more apologies, time to raise the vibration and take the leap.
The song my heart sings breaks the heart of the ones who’ve tried to listen.
Leave me to my open windows, breezes, sunsets, cats, books, my friends who help me sleep, the sheep.
Caring so deeply, giving so much, my heart knows nothing but to glisten.

But for that I need to awaken, to rest my feet, to hear less the opinion.
To be surrounded by clouds and tides, less footsteps and pride.
The device is soon to be forgotten, but I am still a civilian.
Inside a place where fog meets ship, clear the passage, I do not hide.

To Sway Not

~ Emma ~ Leave a comment

Sit in silence, do not share, do not speak, do not follow those who say it is how to be.
Your body knows what, how, when and where.
The truth will always come when no one is there.
I am here, there, everywhere and nowhere, breath is the answer, let go of the noise, the sound, the chatter, the clatter, the smell of the unwise.

Perforated minds filled with nonsense and scatter.
Swaying your hands to grip what they believe matters.
Sit in silence, observe the feeling, the emotion and the messages unyielding.
Listen I do to the sound of water, only oceans, only waves, only currents, only channels, only drips and splashes directing me inward, outward, dancing alone.

Splatter the landscape with torturous methods to peace, the story is wrong, the way has you fooled.
Seeking guidance is no such thing, guidance and protection, wisdom and worth, not found in any one thing.
Listen carefully because she says this without doubt, without hesitation, but who is she?
She is your angel, your teacher, writing the story to alter what you thought you knew, believed and understood, she does not lie, she brings too much truth.

Shelves full of the same letters, sprawled together in different parts, stating the same, same, same, differences.
Listen not to the letters you can touch. Listen harder to the letters that dissolve the pain through silence, listening, and jumping away from gain.

How many times have you felt the wind and the sorrow of voices full of love and affection yet, hungry for more because the temperature still drops below freezing.
To warm the water, movement and redirection towards the unknown and the words of no one.
Step back from what instructs, what they perceive as perfection and correction, and look to something that isn’t in the realm of comfort or rule.

Forever the same questions, same damage, same outcome, different souls, same path, what if there was another answer.
Believe in what you will, read, talk, forge your path on stilts.
Who decides for you, who decides for them, who decides this is truth?
My truth is not yours, your truth is not mine, choices and actions, choices and actions set you free or keep you caged.

Human is matter, molecule, chemicals of quantum on a platter.
Serve it. Do not turn the page.
Sit here in silence, do not share, do not speak, do not follow those who say it is how to be.
Your body knows what, how, when and where.
The truth will always come when no one is there.
I am here, there, everywhere and nowhere, breath is the answer, let go of the noise, the sound, the chatter, the clatter, the smell of the unwise.

Wolves and Wine

~ Emma ~ Leave a comment

You took off like a bullet.
Do bullets actually take…off?
I put on a sweater because it’s cold now.
Your absence brings an age of…ice.

Icy shivers down my spine.
I’m going to add to my sweater, some wine.
I don’t drink, is this ok? I look at your face, but I’m blind.
It’s a good thing we never signed.

I’m inside a warm and cozy cave.
I’ve got tools and I know how to save.
It’s just us now. You’re my fav.
The fire I’ve got inside, keeps me brave.

I’m ok huddled here, I’ll be ok.
I can hear the wolves outside, I hope they stay.
It’s peaceful in here, I’ve made a good spot to lay.
The night is long but today…is the day.

The cave walls have a smooth look.
No jagged or rough edges, nowhere for a hook.
I feel safe. The flames burning, crackling, I remember what you took.
Be careful out there, don’t get shook.

I sit here by the fire, in my sweater in this cave.
I watch their movement outside, the wolves pace back and forth.
I’m not afraid. I think they are my protection, not here for an election.
Thank you dear wolf pack, for having my back.

How did I get here? Huddled, alone, protected by wolves?
I can see the sky outside a bit. It’s bare.
What a feeling this is. Uncertain and unsettled, but in good care.
Fire is comfort for my soul and my mind. I close my eyes.

The heat pressing my face, it got brighter even without sight.
I pray that you are alive and safe.
I hope you come back one day. But until you do. I’ll wait.
Here inside this cave, behind the wolves. In my sweater.
With my wine. With my tribe.