On the cusp of something miraculous said the angel to the girl. What if you held out your palm and drew a line in the center, in a swirl.
Keep the line going around and around. I am the utensil you choose to draw with, I am your devoted one, we are always bound. Let me tickle your hand, stay open and not stiff.
I will carry you when there’s no one left, I will tell you what you need to hear. I will help you shine brighter on days you are bereft. We walk together, not alone, side by side my dear.
You may not see me, or know I am ever near. But fret not, because you can call on me and I will appear, in my special way to comfort, guide and soothe you. To ease your mind, I drift in and out, you’ll never be blind.
When you walk, I am watching. When you sing, I am dancing. When you cry, I am understanding. When you run, I am flying.
When we are alone in the forest or by the sea, it is when I can see you the best, you are so clear to me. The beauty that you are, just in your form, makes me so happy you chose this, to be born.
Because when you came here, we came together, and our journey has been the greatest pleasure. I can not think or imagine a truer or more loving home than the one we have, yours and mine, it is our own.
I have loved you and will keep loving you under all weights, all circumstances, through all barriers. You are my reason and why the sky is blue. Your ocean of love reflects up so high, it even carries me through.
I am your angel and there is nothing that can separate us. When the seasons change and the wind stops, when the rain starts and the sun drops, I am endless for you, promised to you, no need for any props.
We can do just fine us two you know… And you do know, because you’ve already told me so. In that secret little wish, under your breath that day when you quietly said, “All I need is my angel, thank you for saving me.”
Here I am and here I stay. There you are, I hear you pray. Let’s love today, this one very day. For we have each other, blessed we are, I must say.
The wind blows her hair in front of her eyes. She can’t see. The icy cold river rushes over her legs and she stands on uneven sharp rocks and pebbles, her toes gripping beneath the bedrock for support and grounding. A trickle of blood runs down both arms into her palms. The air is crisp and fresh and the breeze has just enough momentum against the current that she feels frozen in place, ripped between two forces.
The river flows faster now over her legs trying to destabilize her, but the wind holds her in place, she closes her eyes and lifts her arms out in front of her, palms facing the sky, opening ready to receive. Her brown soft locks whipping around her head in a frenzy. The water is so cold and shocking the temperature reaches her bones, but she remains still. Legs bolted down as the current rips around her. The trees like gigantic green smooth monsters surround her. She is steady, standing alone in the wild.
Blood drips from both elbows down her arms into her hands, dripping from her fingertips into the water. Her chemistry feeding the trout, the minnows, the algae, and the salmon and the stones. She sends her love deep into the river with every droplet. The red runs around her feet and legs, the cool red lines on her arms tickle as they move. She crawled through the forest to get here, her arms covered in scratches, bruises and blood.
She wants to move and walk back to the edge of the river where her wolf stands but she can’t. He watches her and his gaze never leaves her form. He paces along the side of the river then sits. Paces then sits. Paces then sits. He wants her back where he can touch her.
As she tilts her face up towards the sky, the clouds begin to move. They were halted but then received permission to move again. She holds a gift that doesn’t lie, doesn’t pretend, doesn’t wait and doesn’t bend.
As the sun begins to grace her face, the heat slowly initiates tingling all over her body and through her soul. As the clouds part just enough, as her wolf steadies himself, hovering, as the blood dries up along her arms, as the branches and leaves begin to speak, she looks around; below, beside, above and behind, and then within. She screams, smiles and then exhales. She is not alone. She speaks to the earth and the earth responds and always listens and never leaves. Their energies dance. There is a secret between them now that no one will know. She opens her eyes.
….
John enters Chloe’s apartment and takes off his shoes. He can smell her lavender oil from the hallway, it’s strong today. This is his new favourite smell and he’s wilded out that he loves it so much. It smells like her. He pauses and closes his eyes before walking into the living room. He’s feeling relieved and so excited to see her. His bare feet along the carpet make him feel cozy and he loves her colourful, bright decor. He stops.
“Hi beautiful. God, it’s amazing to see you, I thought about you every day.”
“Hi John. Wow, why does it feel like it’s been a year and not just a month? Please hug me!”
Chloe looks up at him like it’s the first time she’s ever seen him. Mesmerized, captivated and adrenaline pumping. She gets up off the couch where she and Sam were sitting and jumps into John’s big bear arms, legs wrapped around his waist, he grabs her waist and then wraps his arms around her. Their arms squeeze each other so tightly she can feel his heart beating rapidly on her chest.
She feels so protected in his arms, and so small. He can hold her up with one arm. They hold this hug for a long time. He can feel her energy is quite intense today, more intense than usual. She knows it too. She knows he knows, right away, and she’s grateful that he can read energy just as well as she can.
There’s definitely something different, slightly amiss and he can’t understand it yet. They hold onto each other a little longer. He feels the same, just as she remembered and maybe even better? There’s something a little amiss with him too though, she can sense something is different. His arms are tighter around her than usual and his heart is really racing.
He takes her arms from around his neck and she plops down. He looks at her arms with a “wtf expression”, runs his fingers delicately over her scraped and scabby elbows and forearms and looks her straight in the eyes, takes both of his hands to her cheeks and does his usual gaze with his deep brown eyes that penetrate her soul like nothing else.
He is concerned and confused.
“Whoa, what happened Chloe? Jesus it looks like you fought a mountain lion or a wild animal got you or something. Did you get into a fight with Sam, he couldn’t have done this. Where did you get these injuries and scrapes? Has anyone looked at this? When did this happen it looks fresh, what’s going on are you ok? This is going to leave a scar I think.”
Chloe walks back over to the couch and sits down. He follows and sits beside her.
“Yeah I’m okay, it’s nothing to get worried over. I’m cleaning it and taking care of it. I fell on my walk in the park the other day, down a bit of a slope so, I got kind of beaten up by the gravel and grass and sticks on the way down. But I’m fine. I went down to the river to wash and clean myself up after it happened, it’ll be fine. Doesn’t hurt anymore. Was a shock but I made it back in one piece, all good.”
He stares at her and doesn’t say anything right away. He’s thinking. There’s something going through his mind that he doesn’t like. He feels like she’s lying, but why would she lie about this to him? This is the first time he’s seen her in a month and he doesn’t want to confront this feeling he has at the moment, so he hits pause in his mind on it, for now.
“You look different, a bit thinner and like, I’m getting a stronger warrior vibe than usual. You sure everything is ok? A month felt so long, did it to you too? I thought about you every day.” He puts his hand on her leg and slowly strokes Sam’s chest as he purrs next to him.
“Sam is pretty scrawny too, did you guys do some extreme thirty day fast or whacky diet or something?”
She can feel the tears starting to well but she holds them off. She desperately wants to tell him the real story, everything that happened in the woods during their month apart, but she just, can’t. There’s too much unfinished business still, and she needs to resolve it before letting him in on her secret. She needs to keep this just for herself for a little while longer.
They’d been dating just a year, and Chloe still wasn’t sure how far she wanted to let him inside, they were taking things slowly, and it felt really comfortable and right but, the last thing she wanted to do was scare this one away. This one gets her, she gets him. But this…this might scare him away.
“Are you hungry? Let’s eat cookies then go for a walk, I made your favourite. I’m surprised you didn’t smell them when you came in.” She says with her usual enthusiasm.
“You know I don’t turn down your cookies, but, you are my favourite cookie and your smell beats this other cookie smell by a mile.”
She looks at him with a sweet smile, shakes her head and moves closer to him and plants her lips onto his, pausing right before she does so she can look into his chocolatey eyes. She missed him and she’s surprised at how much. Sam jumps off the couch and they stay lip locked for what feels like, a month.
Icebergs in the sky catch my eye. Floating and waiting, holding a lie. The stillness of the air, deeply I sigh. Shrinking, melting, I wonder why.
The hue reveals the truth. I think about needing less proof. The configuration is confusing so I climb to the roof. Higher I sit above the ground, I am a sleuth.
It is inevitable, their disappearance like Houdini. Magic and foolery I suppose, wiggly like linguini. Tiny tricks and silent blips, much like a genie. Up here it is not too cold, it’s even slightly steamy.
The birds sit across from me and we chat. They tell me facts and funny, so I put on a new hat. The cackle and laughter a joyful moment at that. Looking below now, it feels nice sitting here alone, but I miss my cat.
The whisper of today gives me away. The trees, the sky, the breeze, the sun and its single ray, shines brightly through my skin, onto my hair, which is now turning a little bit gray. To love the sight below, above and beside me is to know how to leave and when to play.
Nourishment from solitude replenishes all hunger. I wonder if I sat here all night, would I hear thunder? Would I see lightning shoot across the sky, I wonder. How long until my cozy spot here up high forces me under.
There is nothing to do, nothing to say, nothing to hear. Except to see outside and see inside through my soul so dear. The light is less now, I must climb down off this perch and quash the fear. But sitting here in silence, I see the icebergs have disappeared.
Deep breath in, I close my eyes and remember your face. The lines the way they were, your eyes the way they are, your hair the way it holds such grace. The sight of you inside my mind, the delicate features of your heart, I don’t need to chase. Because here you are, staring at me, smiling and enjoying this beautiful, lovely little place.
Emma Wisdom 