safety

Send Me an Angel

~ Emma ~ 1 Comment

On the cusp of something miraculous
said the angel to the girl.
What if you held out your palm
and drew a line in the center, in a swirl.

Keep the line going around and around.
I am the utensil you choose to draw with,
I am your devoted one, we are always bound.
Let me tickle your hand, stay open and not stiff.

I will carry you when there’s no one left,
I will tell you what you need to hear.
I will help you shine brighter on days you are bereft.
We walk together, not alone, side by side my dear.

You may not see me, or know I am ever near.
But fret not, because you can call on me and I will appear,
in my special way to comfort, guide and soothe you.
To ease your mind, I drift in and out, you’ll never be blind.

When you walk, I am watching.
When you sing, I am dancing.
When you cry, I am understanding.
When you run, I am flying.

When we are alone in the forest or by the sea,
it is when I can see you the best, you are so clear to me.
The beauty that you are, just in your form,
makes me so happy you chose this, to be born.

Because when you came here, we came together,
and our journey has been the greatest pleasure.
I can not think or imagine a truer or more loving home
than the one we have, yours and mine, it is our own.

I have loved you and will keep loving you
under all weights, all circumstances, through all barriers.
You are my reason and why the sky is blue.
Your ocean of love reflects up so high, it even carries me through.

I am your angel and there is nothing that can separate us.
When the seasons change and the wind stops,
when the rain starts and the sun drops,
I am endless for you, promised to you, no need for any props.

We can do just fine us two you know…
And you do know, because you’ve already told me so.
In that secret little wish, under your breath that day when you quietly said,
“All I need is my angel, thank you for saving me.”

Here I am and here I stay.
There you are, I hear you pray.
Let’s love today, this one very day.
For we have each other, blessed we are, I must say.

Old Soul

~ Emma

Old soul here is a story.

You came to me, I came to you, today in this time because our souls were together once before in a past time. You feel what you do, I feel what I do because we have felt this before. It’s something inside of us that is familiar, but also beyond both of us. I know you, you know me.

We were together on a ship out at sea.

There were many others on the ship and there were catastrophic storms, illnesses and grief. We latched onto each other and took to work holding, healing, tending to, and protecting the ones around us during hardship. We were the strong ones looking out for them.

As the winds blew, the ship rocked, the waves surmounting the boat, the rain torrentially hitting, soaking, freezing, we did not stop. We saved many fellow shipmen, but some we could not. I always felt deep pain for the ones we lost. The pain lasted weeks, months, from not being able to save them all. It’s why I am who I am.

At the end of each treacherous day, you and I would comfort each other. After giving our energy, using our resources, applying our care, we would sit down in a corner. A special corner. This is a memory I am not sure why and how I have but it’s there. Wet, cold, hungry and embraced.

We would sit in this corner under a blanket drinking in each other’s warmth. I was huddled inside you, your arms wrapped around me and we were inside a cocoon regenerating one another’s vibration. Protecting ourselves from those around us for just a moment, to stop, to breathe, to give one another comfort and solace. We were tired. So exhausted from fighting the storms, battling the rages and helping to keep the ship afloat so everyone felt as safe as possible. Hoping always to make it to that wondrous shore off in the distance. Land. Sand. Trees. Fresh water. Land animals. A better life. The two of us were nominated the care takers of this ship, the givers, the knowers and the bringers of light and humour during fearful times. We wore the badges proudly.

The day we met in this life, before thinking, before knowing, I gave you a glass of water out of instinct and it was the only thought, the only action, the only understanding that I had in that moment that felt necessary. I must give him water to drink.

It has so much meaning to me now after being reunited with this story. When I looked at you it was as if I had quenched your thirst before and this was just a reenactment of where we had once been. It is a story written many, many years ago and it’s why, we will always be connected and protecting each other from wherever we are during whatever storms we may face. We are experienced and we are stronger because of one another.

It’s why letting go feels strange.

Because we were latched so tightly, so deeply, and in such meaningful position and purpose once before, that deep inside it’s a recognition difficult to separate from. But it is wonderful to know and to understand. There is beauty in it. But letting go of it, doesn’t undo what we did, what we have, and the impact we made. Remembering being in that corner of the ship with you, it carries me, reminds me and sends me forward with a force that I am blessed to have.

This story is not untrue.

It is the very truth of a past life experience that I have ever felt and known. The ship, the people, the blanket, the cold, the rain, the waves, the storms, the raging sea, the darkness, the light, the stars, the stillness, it’s all a part of me. And it is a part of you.

The way the moon and its light cared for us, directing our path and leading us exactly here. You are drawn to look up at the sky as am I. It’s what we did. We knew we were being guided well by the stars and so still, we are. We trust and we know.

I hope this story brings to you the feelings and sensations that it brings to me. Deep wisdom, peace, ignited spiritual energy and the most powerful resilience there is.

Butterflies

~ Emma ~ 1 Comment

I put on my butterfly earrings today and something happened. My earrings have a white butterfly on them and just after I placed the loop through my second ear, I got really dizzy, the room started to spin and I had to sit down quickly.

My eyes closed involuntarily. I didn’t feel in control of my body or state anymore like something had taken possession of me. I sat there trying to open my eyes but they were forced shut. I had to wait.

This was a strangely familiar experience. Sitting on the floor, alone, waiting, wondering, slowly breathing, and then it all came flooding back. I knew what was about to happen.

All of a sudden one yellow butterfly made its way out from inside my left ear. And from there, like follow the leader, more and more butterflies expelled out in swarms from the inside of both of my ears.

I stayed so still as I watched them. I was able to open my eyes as soon as the first butterfly came out. She gave me back my sight. I held out my arms in front of me and the butterflies lined up one by one across them. It tickled and they laughed and I smiled bigger than I had in a while. I started laughing too. Their colours and the feeling of them on my arms filled my mind and my soul with excitement. My brain was being lit up by so many vibrant and detailed wings. I watched them, trying not to disturb the ones on my cheeks with my gaze. There were so many butterflies on my head. I held still but I don’t think it mattered if I moved or not, they weren’t leaving me.

No one was here to see this except the seagulls floating by the window. I think a couple of them did double takes as they flew by. No one would believe me if I told them this anyway. So I won’t, just you I’ll tell. Our secret. You and the seagulls.

Then a truly blissful moment came, where I lay back, legs and arms slightly out to the side and my body transformed, completely covered in butterflies I was.

It felt like a tornado spinning inside my head on both sides, whizzing around in my ears, like a storm, thunder and lightning, booming, crashing, rushing, spinning, and as the butterflies left each ear, it felt like buckets of sand emptying and flowing out in a stream from my head. What a wild feeling.

The sound was just like sand in the ears, crunchy, swirling sand then ejecting out with force. I couldn’t hear anything, only the beauty unfolding from the storm inside me and then around me, in front of me, above me, all over me. I began to cry. It was so beautiful.

Lying on the floor, the tears streamed down the sides of my face. The butterflies started to get wet, some even settled on my tears. They fed on them. I don’t think that they minded because they didn’t move much. Their fluttering wings on my face felt calming, like they were trying to catch the tears and use them as fuel and as nourishment.

I knew eventually I would regain my hearing, but if that meant the butterflies would leave me, I would have happily stayed deaf inside this sandstorm to keep them close and to keep them coming. Butterflies ignited my body with a gentle warmth and a protective layer. My skin was barely visible. I was butterfly skin. Never the same.

These beautiful creatures screamed grace, joy, lightness, purity and peace. What had I done to create that moment, to be blessed by such an event? The last time this happened, I was someone else and I got scared. But this time, this time the joy and surrender and acceptance and trust and welcoming of what was happening was an overwhelming experience I didn’t want to end. Loving this fate. I welcomed every butterfly as they found a spot on my body.

They covered all inches of me, fluttered and then stilled themselves. They kissed every part of me, sucked the pain from my pulsing veins and changed the shape, the sound, and the smell, of all of the things that held me down.

I felt them all working together, giving, giving, giving, filling my heart, filling my heart, filling my heart, protecting my energy and protecting my soul. They worked their wings all across me. I had never felt a force so strong in all my life, and they did not stop until I was given what was desperately needed, replenishment in all of its forms.  

I let them stay on me, allowing every moment to unfold just as it was meant to. They kept coming out of my ears, like each one had a very specific purpose, a determination and a job to fulfill. I felt like the butterfly woman. A receptacle for peace and rejuvenation. The soft and delicate power of these wonderful insects soothed my sandy mind and electrified the air around me.

I felt the shield. Each butterfly made an imprint, like the most beautiful parts of all of their souls transferring into mine. I lay there in grateful, astonished tears.

As the last butterfly departed from my ear, the moving sand sound stopped. I could hear. I lay still and hoped they would not leave. My heart felt different, bigger, stronger, truer and like I had a thousand, tiny, sweet singing souls cycling through my bloodstream.

I took a deep breath, then, the butterflies took flight away from my body. All together at once they lifted up and away from me. Their sudden absence drew me to grasp out and plead for them to stay. But instead, I sat up, smiled, thanked them for coming and then watched them float away.

They held me, blessed me, repleted me, heightened me, gifted me, sang to me… then flew out the window.

Thank you dear butterflies for choosing me. I will share your gifts and never forget what you gave me.