persistence

Seeing Without Scars

~ Emma ~ 1 Comment

She knows what she needs to do.
This task, this ask, this duty is owed to her.
She knows what she needs to do.
So, why is it every time it happens her mind goes a blur?

Captive to thoughts, ideas, fantasy.
The little twang of regret every single time.
The position of her heart, now needing a canopy.
The frailty of emotion resting on a dime.

Over and over the cycle continues, no one at fault.
The spike in chemicals reminiscent of lost hope.
The downshift and comedown, like opening and closing the vault.
She thinks of this as a supposed easy thing to do but, nope.

Why oh why does she fly in a sky full of unruly feathers and scattered dirt?
When really, her soul is calling her to the sea, alone and bottomless. Free.
The decision each moment, to be what is known, causes hurt.
She is stronger and faster and will no longer agree.

She knows what she needs to do, but it is taking a toll.
Shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, it is not for her anymore.
Letting go, a triumph of will, mind strength, resisting the pull.
This year of fire and of stallion, causing massive movement and heated chore.

The race to find peace among chaos and intensity and false lore.
One more taste of the divine to set her free at last.
The momentum strong, but consistency is a bore.
She wants it all or nothing at all, and settles for a moment, in the comfort of the past.

Staying right here, right now, seeing without scars.
There are people waiting for her, she is not deaf.
The silent gift of seeing, knowing, keeps her outside on Mars.
She cares deeply, wants you to know, but she’s different now, take a breath.

What appears insignificant to some, strikes her like a thorn.
She is wiser than what you imagine, even then some, and more.
Stop the chase, the controlled wall, just let it all go and be torn.
She isn’t like the rest, she holds gratitude and grace and loves to restore.

She knows the battle well, it continues day after day.
But today is different, this day is saying, “say what you say, it will all be ok.”
Trust in a higher power, the guidance and the proper way.
She listens to her angels; she will nurture and explode, she is on her way.

Phone War

~ Emma ~ 1 Comment

Breaking up is hard to do you see.
I wrote a blog post about my phone.
Really wanted to say, “Adios buddy!”
But now here I sit, me plus phone much less lone.

Addicted, withdrawing, one more hit.
I like the feeling sometimes, when you get lit.
Although you give me much pleasure and delight,
I shall find a special and new place for you, just for tonight.

It’s not so bad, I can go seconds, minutes and hours, but can I go a day or two?
Without you there’s a void, and it sucks.
I’m filling it, filling it, filling it with all the things that I do.
But what if, just for fun, we played a little game called, “chuck it and run” or, “surrender to flux.”

Oh let’s play! It’s one of my favourite games I do say.
Energy and time and focus, now mine all mine.
I love this game because it gives the way,
To more fulfilling and appetizing things, to which I will dine and dine and dine.

Oh dear device, like a cat and mouse chase, except, there’s too many mice.
I will leave you alone to regroup and refresh.
I am taking the hiatus now too, less noise, less mess.
This time away from you, actually, turning into something very nice.

It’s good to change things around and make up your mind and stick.
I had an amusing time with this line, trying not to say dick.
Temptations and emotions and cravings abound.
You never even as much, utter a slight sound.

Phone you trick me, taunt me, lure me and haunt me.
How much longer can we go?
I plan to leave the country one day without you in stow.
I wish you had a real brain, like me, so we could experience more glee.

Ok, enough. I still think you are amazing.
The beautiful way you try to help and make life simpler and easier.
I will be thanking you for your gifts from now until the next phasing.
But I must admit dear phone, some things that you do, unfortunately, make life drearier.

So a little less contact, a little less checking.
There is nothing I will miss that cannot wait.
My mind and body and spirit very due, for less of a pecking.
Thank you. Grateful. You have been a Saint.

Goodbye for now, going to try something else.
Maybe I’ll walk or cook, or go for a swim.
No. I think I’ll paint. Paint with passion and heat so everything melts.
Yes. Painting. Painting is the better option for the win.