life

The Price of Shoes

~ Emma ~ Leave a comment

Buying new shoes, especially ones that really fit, can change a lot of things. And when I say “fit” I don’t mean like, “Oh these are so much comfier than my other ones!” I mean, they fit on a level that change how you exist and think. Your muscles, bones, ligaments, energy, it’s just different, more aligned, springier, more youthful. A new pair of shoes doesn’t just add pop to your wardrobe, they can add years to your life. Enhancing the way you walk, the way your bones feel, how your muscles work. These shoes help to release tension you didn’t know you were carrying.

Shoes like this, you need to pay real money for. When you consistently buy cheapo shoes or the less expensive ones and you love them, and they do the job ok, but after a short time your body begins to ache, and the colour starts to fade faster, they start wearing out and they wear you out in the process. Until you step into a new pair of quality shoes, with proper support, and shoes that just know how to give you all that you’re supposed to have in order to walk this Earth in the best possible way, you sort of never really appreciate what this kind of purchase and investment can provide.

I have small feet, so I’m always shopping for Kids shoes, and it’s great because I love getting fun floral, pink patterned, sparkly shoes and kids shoes are great! Less expensive too. I think it’s sort of fun being able to wear kids shoes, but, they’re never what I really need out of a shoe. I’m settling and not making the investment on myself to go for the really good ones, the ones I know that I should be wearing, that are really meant for my feet, that will support me in all the ways I need in order to get the maximum out of every single step that I take.

When my old pair of shoes wear out and I just can’t suck any more wear out of them, I have a little bit of sadness. I think about all the places I went with them and the places they took me, the journey that those steps in those shoes created. And even though they’re just shoes, it’s the same kind of thing we feel I think with a favourite sweater, or a shirt or a piece of jewelry, or a hat. Comfort, memory, sameness. I think shoes are a lot different than putting on a favourite cozy hoodie though.

Shoes impact and influence your soul energy. The way we walk and present ourselves is so largely influenced by how our body, muscles and bones work and feel. A good pair of shoes can help to relieve so many physical ailments which can then directly impact our mental ones. A new pair of shoes, just like a new set of thoughts, can change our entire mental game. That’s why, stepping into a new pair of shoes can feel like, your life has just changed. “My hips feel less tight. I’m standing up straighter. My knees don’t ache as much now when I walk for long periods. My existence has improved”. Just from two pieces of footwear. You never really think about the impact that this has until you’ve been aching for a long time, feeling misaligned, choosing the wrong pair, after the wrong pair, body getting more and more tired, needing to work harder and harder to work optimally. And then Boom, one single step in a new pair of shoes and the life you were living before, is in the past. You’re like a new person. A different feeling, moving, breathing person.

Someone I love just got a new pair of shoes recently and this is what has inspired this post today. And I know there are people reading this right now who are thinking, “What’s on my feet?”. I never realized the importance of investing and paying more money for shoes until I did it. Took a leap. Saw and felt what life could be like in one of “those” pairs of shoes. And paying for a new pair like that, you also sort of know that they’re going to be with you for a long time. Even on the days where you wear your other shoes, and these new ones stay in the closet, they’re still there waiting for you to step right back into them and feel that difference. Feel the way life is different when you walk in them.

New shoes even bring you closer to where you’re supposed to go. Because your energy is different in these shoes, it’s more revved up, vitalized on a whole new level, fresh and buzzing, and with that energy you have much better direction. All because of shoes. A much better understanding of where you’re supposed to go, because you’ve got the right support. Your bones, muscles, mind, blood flow, aura, it’s all in a better place because of these shoes, and so naturally, these shoes just compliment your understanding of your existence better and how you’re supposed to be living, purely by giving you what you didn’t realize you needed to live better.

Things get clearer when you wear the right shoes. Clarity on how life is supposed to feel. It takes time to find that right pair though. And lately when I find the good ones that might be a bit pricier, I buy two of the same. Spend that money. Go big on this, keep investing in the exact same pair. Keep it consistent, and simple. Don’t look anywhere else, because these shoes know what you need and they’ll keep giving it and giving it and giving it. Having lots of different pairs of shoes that feel different on your feet and make you walk differently, feel differently, these misalignments add up. The tensions build, muscles get used to working inefficiently and things start to wear and break down.

I end up buying new shoes (but not the RIGHT ones) every year or six months. I walk A LOT. Walking is my life. I take so many steps and the shoes I’m in, I just know aren’t serving me in the ways that my body needs. So, that’s it. No more. I am frugal and don’t spend money on “things” very often. You can’t be frugal with shoes. These are not “things”. And you can’t be frugal with your heart either. Investing in that good pair of shoes, buying two or three of the same ones, is going to guarantee that you’re walking with the right stuff happening. Just like investing in a person. It’s risky at first because you don’t know how far this pair will be able to take you. If it’s the perfect pair, invest, invest, invest, buy nine pairs of the exact same one so you never have to take one step on this Earth without them on your feet. But how do you know if they are the perfect pair? Just try them on.

But like all things in life, shoes do wear out. But if you can afford it, financially and emotionally to keep making the investment and sticking with the same pair, the one that keeps you aligned, relaxed in your bones, joyful in your thoughts, fired up in your vibrations, then it’s worth spending that money and spending the emotions, creating a savings account JUST for these shoes, so you know when they get a little worn down, you’ve got the juice in the tank, saved up to get more of that same shoe in a fresher way.

That same pair can be with you forever. Sure, there’s lots of amazing feeling shoes out there, that are going to strike up good feelings all over your body. Comfort is found in many ways and even the less expensive pairs of shoes can give comfort, and having many different pairs of very expensive comfortable shoes can be nice too. But, in my opinion, there will always be that one pair. That one pair out of all the other expensive and supportive ones, that you’ll still want to choose because there’s just something different that when you wear them, you are the most authentic you, and you feel safest in this pair over all the others. You trust this pair. The others are worth the investment too. But this pair just fits, not physically with it just being the right size and shape, but, this pair fits because you’re a better person wearing these ones.

Settle for thrift store T-shirts. Dollar store socks and pants. But shoes, if you can and have the means, don’t mess around with this. What goes on your feet, the shoes that you decide to step into, directly influence your energy, thoughts and decisions. Find that amazing pair that you can’t live without. And never stop wearing them. Let them guide you to the places you’re supposed to go. Let these shoes into your life, they’re sitting on the shelf just waiting for you to come get them. And once you have them, throw out all the old shoes that are widening the cracks on your heart and your soul, they aren’t serving you. You deserve to float through life with happy feet.

Clearing away the shoes you’ve worn out, the ones that don’t give to you anymore in the ways that you’re supposed to receive for proper alignment, throwing out that pile of different shoes you’re holding onto because they’re still a bit comfy and you wore them for so long, here and there, and they are still pretty cute and they still “work”, and they’re convenient and easy, is only wearing you down. Level up and toss those suckers. Keep investing in the good pair. Over and over and over.

They say “eyes are the window to the soul”. With that in mind, I think that “shoes are a bridge to another life”. Trying them on, taking a few new steps, walking differently, you’ll be amazed at the bridges that start to emerge where they never were before. Helping you to overcome and walk above the dirty waters, getting over the influences, instead of staying under them. Deciding to wear these shoes is all within your power. Just the act of picking them up off the shelf, choosing this pair, will start the bridge construction process. Continuing to walk in them day after day, will get you closer to that really big bridge that you need to walk across that you have been avoiding. The one that has alligators living below it. You know these shoes can get you over that bridge. You’ve invested, you took that leap, they’re on your feet. Start walking and don’t look back.

This amazing pair of shoes, they aren’t another person, or a thing, or an event. This perfect pair of shoes, the ones that are meant for your feet that keep you walking in a straight line when you’re almost on the verge of diversion, this perfect pair of shoes that still stays clean when you’re swamp walking, this perfect pair of shoes that you spent all your savings on because of the value they bring, this perfect pair of shoes that know how to restore your physical, mental and spiritual self, this perfect pair of shoes…is you.

Happy Ambulation Everyone.

No Through Road

~ Emma ~ 1 Comment

Today, this 16th day of January, for some reason my mind has been pulled to one of Dr. Seuss’ poems. My favourite one. What a brilliant man he was. And why today this poem has throttled its way into my mental sphere I’m not sure. I always trust the guidance of these special occurrences and I don’t let them go unnoticed. I think our subconscious is always working for us in useful ways, (appreciating that it also works the opposite too) and I believe that the places we go, the people we meet and the choices we make in these places, with these people, aren’t without a lot of subconscious influence. Sometimes these pulls are so unexplainable that it’s mental mayhem, an internal GPS system that’s gone off the rails, like, you went left and were supposed to go right, and course correction now is a bit of a headache. Just reset the GPS it knows where I’m supposed to go right? But oh wait, can we do that? I’d LOVE to reset my internal GPS system so I’m controlling it and it’s not controlling me. We are always in control of what we do, say, think and how we act in all situations consciously, it’s that darn GPS lurking in the background that can make things appear and feel outside of our control. 

I think in a way, it is quite beautiful to trust the subconscious pulls and pushes because whatever happens as a result of them is what will inadvertently trigger a change in the GPS anyway. Every experience, moment, place and the resulting emotions attached to those, imprint a different map to our GPS to guide us better in the future. So, I think it’s important to take wrong turns, recognize that no matter what you’re thinking and feeling on each road, there’s merit and purpose behind it all. 

Some days I wish I could return my GPS System for a whole new one, and see what that would be like…step into a different vehicle all together, but until that’s possible I’ll settle with the map and wheels I have, be grateful that it’s such a good one, and trust that maybe there is no final destination and that life is just one big navigation network after another and what makes it wonderful is the perspective, understanding and clarity that results from the system going completely amok! 

“Warning. Alert. No Through Road. You took the wrong exit, get back on the highway RIGHT NOW! Or don’t…see where this goes. Or not. Why don’t you just stop at the side of the road here, have a snack, open the window, watch the birds and the clouds, those cows in the field just over there and pause, you need a break from driving. Just sit here in the sun, in the silence. There’s no rush. There’s too many signs and pit stops along that highway anyway, try the next one.” That’s my kind of GPS. 

So for anyone who needs to read these words of Dr. Seuss today, here they are! Maybe they’ll do for you what they are doing for me, and what that is exactly I don’t really know, all I know is I’m supposed to read them, right here, right now. So I’m going to keep reading until something deeper sinks in, clicks, clacks or hits. I can’t be the only person who needs to read this today so, I saved your subconscious that task of finding it and bringing it to your awareness. 

From my GPS to yours, happy motoring! 

Oh The Places You’ll Go!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself 
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look ’em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, 
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.

It’s opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And then things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be as famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t
Because, sometimes they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,
And I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up 
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s 
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So…
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
You’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

Whole

~ Emma ~ 2 Comments

Apparently, the name Emma means “wholeness” or “whole” as well as “universal”. I can’t believe I didn’t know this. It makes a lot of sense to me though on many levels. And then I had this fun thought, imagine if Whole Foods was instead called “Emma Foods”?! I’m convinced there is some sort of cosmic meaning and connection here because Whole Foods is one of my favourite places to go. Especially Whole Foods in Vancouver. I can spend hours here, I’m here right now writing this sitting at the high bar type long table in front of the window. It’s such a great spot to watch people outside and have your back to the rest of the store, so you’re forced to really either focus just on your device, your meal or what’s outside. Most days I like sitting here just eating my snack watching people walk by outside, but today I felt like writing something.

I like going to busy places of solitude, (I realize that’s an oxymoron but it makes sense in my head). Like certain eateries, Ikea’s food court for example, certain coffee shops and cafés, but not Starbucks, there’s nothing isolating or solitude about Starbucks, everyone wants to know your damn name, and they sprawl it across your cup for Pete’s sake! Goodbye anonymity. And even if you use a fake name, the next time you come back, they’re like “Hey Susan! Great to see you again!” You feel slightly fraudish, and the person who you brought with you this time, this almost friend you made two weeks ago at the grocery store buying chips, (whom you actually stalked, hunted down and pounced on like a puma in desperate attempt for friendship acquisition) now thinks you’re weird, not who you said you were, and is about to question whether getting a mocha with you is the right move. Starbucks has no idea the problems they’ve caused for loner introverts just trying to be anonymous but still remain social. What a battleground.

This specific Whole Foods where I am now, I generally see people who are alone sitting and eating, or having their smoothies or teas, coffee, wheatgrass shots etc. by themselves more so than people in groups. It’s a great zone too because there’s private ish booths where you can’t see the people in the next booth and it’s got kind of a cozy vibe, you feel sort of hidden sitting there. Whoever designed the layout of this seating area with the specific type of chairs and tables did a great job. I love my spot at this long, high, ledge table thing facing the window. There’s the perfect amount of table from me to the window so I can still sprawl out my 5 different reusable ziplock bags with different snacks in them and my water bottle, my phone, a notebook and still not be disturbing the personal space of the individual beside me. I swear, whoever figured this out nailed it!

I love Whole Foods as a Company a lot too because of their values, mission, quality standards, friendly organic minded (not obsessed) people who, on so many occasions I have had lengthy philosophical, sociological or spiritual conversations with in the aisle. I feel like my people are here…well, some of them. I mean, I could have these conversations anywhere, in any grocery store, and I definitely try to! But Whole Foods isn’t just a grocery store, it’s a lifestyle and I find I meet more likeminded individuals here than I do other places.

The way it just feels here is what I like too. The comfort that I can make a unique “Emma Salad” and sit across from someone eating a single cantaloupe with a spoon, half a watermelon, 3 rock melons and 4 bananas as their meal and this be acceptable, normal and not deemed weird. I say that because some people think my salads look weird. But at Whole Foods what I’m putting in my bowl/box, it’s pretty non weird. I guess what I’m sort of getting at with this is, in a Society where scripts and standards and expectations and rules and conventions and “shoulds”, are so prevalent, permeating our minds (if we let them), staying authentic and supporting that authenticity is sometimes a challenge. Living in Vancouver makes me feel so much more normal than when I lived in Toronto. That’s a separate blog post entirely though that I’ll save for another day.

Trying to fit into something that feels opposite of what your soul needs to live, breathe, and thrive, changing who you are because that’s what they tell you you’re supposed to be, is a waste of energy and time. Fear of judgement or others’ opinions and wanting to be seen and understood in a certain way, we can exhaust ourselves with these things. There’s a great quote from a Sociologist guy I can’t remember the name of right now that goes: “I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think, you think I am”.

He’s saying our sense of self is formed by imagining how others see us, not just our own self-perception or their direct perception, but our imagined perception of their judgment, which shapes our feelings about ourselves. Highlighting that identity, is a social construct, a reflection of our interpretations of others’ views, which creates a complex feedback loop where we mold ourselves to fit what we think they want.

Tip: try NOT to do that. I’ve definitely done it…for maybe eight minutes, then I said “No I’d rather teach kids how to surf in Cape Town instead of sitting in an office reading about law and human rights”, sorry Dad. I turned out ok though I think, for the most part.

Compromising who you are, in any shape or form, is a recipe for disaster. Someone used to say to me often, never compromise on the things that make you shine. You appear shiny to them precisely because you’re not trying to be shiny for them.

I think making compromises in a relationship in order to make it work better does hold value. Actually, scratch that, I think if you have to make a lot of compromises it’s going to feel like…crap, and it’s probably the wrong relationship. But really, what do I know.
This is probably why I am single. Someone who wants to compromise my salad etiquette and structure, deal breaker. I’d rather die alone…with my salad.

I like men, a lot, I get along famously with many, maybe even better than I do with women, but, after careful consideration of who I am, and what I’ve learned, witnessed, heard, experienced, I think choosing singledom for myself has been a wise choice. I know I’m cute and sexy, and fun and authentic and smart and funny but, you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t dress their salad, watch Netflix or anything for that matter that doesn’t have Timothée Chalamet or Ryan Gosling in it, and who prefers cats and trees to most people. Or maybe you do. And in that case, where ARE you?!

I don’t know how this post, which was supposed to be all about Whole Foods being my solo food haven, turned into a rant about my relationship status. It always comes back to this it seems. Single, married, divorced, situationship, boyfriend, girlfriend, the titles and labels abound. It’s funny, when someone asks me: “Are you single?” My Anthropological mind thinks, “Yes, I am one, single, human person, not two humans at once”. Like no one says: “Are you double?” Clearly no, I’m not double I don’t have a clone, there’s just one of me. “Are you a couple?” A couple of what? Ducks? Weirdos? Canadians? I think if aliens came to Earth, and landed anywhere other than Denmark (I hear life and existing there is pretty awesome) and wanted to learn about culture and language and…all of it, I think they’d probably last oh, maybe 6 days until they decided “Ya, let’s get back in the ship, head back to our planet stat where shit makes sense”.

I just laughed out loud just now and the guy sitting next to me eating his sandwich is now laughing too. Success! I love Whole Foods. I’ll make a better post about it another day that captures more of its “essence” but for now, I’ll leave this post by saying it’s a place that makes me happy, makes me feel good and understood, and, having the opportunity to live somewhere where I can find, go to, and frequent such a place, I am ever grateful for this. This one little thing. Sometimes all you need is just one small thing like this. On days when nothing makes any damn sense, Whole Foods it is! A side of sockeye salmon and a salad with my sunshine and solitude please. That was such a great alliteration sentence right there. Dropping mad “S” bombs!

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t cherish what Vancouver has to offer for my mind, my heart and my soul. And sure there’s Whole Foods in lots of cities and different kinds of health food and hippie style grocery stores all around the World and I love finding and exploring those and the different and interesting things that they have. But as much as different, new and unpredictable is great sometimes, keeps us adapting and growing, I really do also on the flip, appreciate sameness, predictability, reliability and consistency. And whether you find that in food, a dwelling, animals, nature, music, other humans, if it has those qualities, it’s a comfort and joy all the same.