One, Two, Four (shit I forgot Three), Five, Six, Seven.
How many seconds of your life
you’ve lost reading this spiel,
was it worth it?
No?
Fuck
I’ll try harder. Eight, Nine, Ten, Twelve
(why is my mind skipping numbers
I know they’re there).
Time’s a ticking I have no idea what to write
to keep you interested.
Fuck
How about Whole Foods?
I know a lot about Whole Foods.
Not because I’m a west coast hipster
who eats dandelion greens salads
and mango for dinner but,
(well actually that is me but for the sake of
holding your interest to keep reading this…
whatever this is, I won’t talk
about my granola lifestyle),
but because Whole Foods has great seating
to eat and people watch.
You don’t even need to actually buy
anything from the store you could straight up
just bring KFC and Starbucks
and sit by the window minding your business
next to the guy eating a watermelon
with a wooden spoon and no one would care.
Whole Foods wants you to be comfortable
and accepted, I think anyway.
That’s the vibe I get and why I go there.
Because really, with the world the way it is,
I just want comfort with a little bit of
acceptance on the side. I love sides.
So on days when I feel like I’m going
to lose my shit,
I go to Whole Foods,
park it at the tall long bar like table
facing the window, and watch people and cars
until sanity returns
and then I relocate to the chocolate aisle
and buy an $8 organic, vegan, sugar free
chocolate bar that tastes like chalk.
700% antioxidant factor though.
Hit me with the most theobromine possible.
Today I sat outside under the heat lamps
and had broccoli and cauliflower
slathered with thyme. I had enough time.
Woman beside me was eating
Subway.
Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen.
Yes!
My brain’s back online. It’s the
flavanols.
Want some?
Have some.
Was it worth making
it to the end?
Maybe?
Good
