growth

Let Me Love

~ Emma ~ 2 Comments

Maybe we fall in love because we are supposed to break and have destroyed the person we used to be. Maybe we ought to run towards love precisely because, it might destroy us. And not just run towards love for the ordinary reasons of wanting to feel seen, appreciated, desired and cared for. Maybe we are supposed to throw our hearts out there as often as possible when opportunity arises instead of running from love and protecting our hearts. There is a far greater purpose in love than we ever realized I think, and we can’t reach this transformative realization until a period of complete destructive emotional collapse occurs.

Maybe the very nature of having loved is the process to enlightenment, growth, and the shedding of a layer that wasn’t supposed to be there forever.

The lessons, the difficulties, a wreckage of a part of ourselves that needed to be dismantled for good. Never to be the same person again, except now, that person today…an exponentially higher, stronger and more beautiful and powerful person than ever before.

The gifts of love and of loss, a personal gift to our sense of self that is completely aligned with our evolution. And even if the Universe could prevent it, it still would ensure your heart experienced the amount of demolition necessary in order to be reborn into the shining star that’s been there all along but just hadn’t yet reached that level of break in order to achieve the ultimate break-through.

Maybe being a love addict isn’t that bad. We are addicted for a reason, and that reason is always taking us closer to ourselves, raising our vibration so we radiate more and more within and outwards, so when people see us, meet us, hear us, touch us, they receive the love that is in ever abundance within us, that we carry always.

If someone is starved for love, I truly believe that eventually, the Universe will send them a special soul who has so much love, extra love to spare, so that that person’s empty and dry cup is finally able to be replenished.

Love is always the answer. Radical, messy, patient, unconditional love. No matter who you love, why you love, how you love, where you love, the purpose is just to…do it.

We are here to love and that’s it. Not to achieve, not to impress, not to harm, not to graduate with honours, not to win the most games, not to perform or to please, not to buy or sell the most stuff, not to show off, not to follow the leader, not to land the dismount, not to change what we look like, not to shoot for fame, not to climb the ladder, not to see the world.

The world is here to see us. To see us give love, receive love, to be destroyed and resurrected by love, and to never stop.

A Certain Kind of Solitude

~ Emma

A certain kind of solitude my soul requires.
Silent but full of sound. Quietly loud.
A way for the mind to rest among raging fires.
The burden of people, is it shameful? I am sometimes not proud.

Proud I am though of what I know of what I need.
It’s simple and beautiful and kind and uncluttered.
It’s pure, honest, a chosen loneliness, my good deed.
The seagulls arrive, the crows walk with me, the wings they are fluttered.

Water is a sacred vessel, a portal, a connection to the divine.
My spirit swims and dances and forges a path against the grind.
Leave your words inside, don’t clutter my mind, I resign.
Hydrated with silence, not isolation, not fearful avoidance, but a found that I always find.

To watch the leaves, to sing with the sea, to listen to animals.
Have you heard the voice of an orca, the greeting of a feline, the dialogue of a goose?
The creatures that delight us, teach us, need us, require so minimal.
When you strip it down, let it go, stop asking, stop waiting, stop talking, stop needing, that’s the juice.

Take a walk, call yourself on the phone, talk to her, listen to her, be her hero.
A certain kind of solitude holds no mystery, no questions, requires no logic.
To share and bring forth the gifts from within: abandon the recipe, begin with zero.
Depletion is mended by repletion from the elements, the true magic.

Do not tell me when you have never been keen. You can never know what has never been.
Push to fill a space and a hole that was never meant to be filled.
The hole is beauty, it’s sacrifice, it’s bold, it’s a story that is deserved to be seen.
The comfort in a space so vibrant, so sure, so opposing, it is warm and never chilled.

No more apologies, time to raise the vibration and take the leap.
The song my heart sings breaks the heart of the ones who’ve tried to listen.
Leave me to my open windows, breezes, sunsets, cats, books, my friends who help me sleep, the sheep.
Caring so deeply, giving so much, my heart knows nothing but to glisten.

But for that I need to awaken, to rest my feet, to hear less the opinion.
To be surrounded by clouds and tides, less footsteps and pride.
The device is soon to be forgotten, but I am still a civilian.
Inside a place where fog meets ship, clear the passage, I do not hide.

Letting Go

~ Emma

Missing them only means you are human. That the connection mattered and was important. Missing them doesn’t mean you are meant for each other, or it’s destiny or that it’s important to forget the incompatibilities because the good stuff was so good. Missing them means you lived, and gave your heart and now you are changed. Maybe you’re changed forever because of them. You aren’t changed for the worse because they are gone, but you are changed for the better because they were there. Not everyone on this earth is lucky enough to have experienced that one soul who, at the right time shows up and reaches inside you and ignites something unexpected, special and sort of life changing and maybe saw something in you that no one else ever had.

Even if you’d done a lot of healing up until when they arrived and you understood your patterns, your nervous system and you were more aligned with your true authentic self, if that person got a seat in your car, your partially healed car, your solitary car that generally remains empty without any passengers, that person, was definitely meant to sit beside you. And when they left the vehicle, they’re actually still sort of there, maybe just now in the backseat…or the trunk, or hanging out on the roof.

I don’t think there’s an amount of time, analysis, processing, understanding, reminiscing, questioning, trying not to miss, or rationalizing that will take them away from that nice place inside of you that is and forever will be, grateful for what they gave. Even when you know that you are better off without them and that you can’t have them in your life, that they are not meant to stay, it somehow doesn’t make it easier knowing that, especially if there wasn’t anything really awful, or the ending wasn’t terrible enough to have you feeling really relieved. That’s maybe even harder, when it’s just a slow fade, a distance created unintentionally, (or maybe intentionally), just two people moving in certain directions whose lives, needs, interests just no longer jive.

I think that some people are directed onto our path to teach us necessary lessons and to bring out pieces and parts of us that had been dormant prior to their arrival. And the length of time they are to stay with us, a specific calculation not to go unnoticed or ignored. But to examine in that very exact time frame what was gleaned, about yourself, about them, about the connection…and about life.

What was awakened as a result of their presence could have only come from them and no one else. The wisdom acquired from having them in your life, a necessary and difficult teaching. It’s cosmically surreal and amazing if you think about it really intimately. Who you were in those moments with them maybe you won’t be with anyone else or maybe you will but a slightly different and better version. It’s beautiful the way the Universe can send us the people who are meant to help us understand and learn the things we are supposed to and then take them away to teach us that important life skill of knowing when to let go and to give us the clarity that their absence brings.

And maybe out of the two of you, there was one who felt it harder, who maybe this relationship meant more and they cared harder, let their walls down faster and easier and just made the decision to fly and feel it all and to let what needed to come out during that time, just explode and flow freely. And maybe that’s where the misstep was. Or maybe you both were just on completely different pages of the same book and never really reading things the same way the entire time. Whatever it was or wasn’t, when you stop forcing, everything that is meant for you starts flowing effortlessly. Having their arrival and departure both feel unforced, is a strong and natural indication that the both of you still are, on the right path. Missing someone isn’t a message or sign that you’re not healing, it’s just a natural part of letting go.

I’m forever thankful for you. I’ll never forget and I’ll always be sending positive energy your way. Thank you for seeing me and for caring. My heart carries your warmth and I hope yours carries mine too.