trust

Fire Horse

~ Emma ~ 3 Comments

The year of the “Fire Horse” happens about every 60 years. 2026 is the year of the Horse. If you were born in 1906, 1918, 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014 and 2026 this is your year. But it is also a Fire year. Next year is also a Fire year and the animal next year being the Goat. This is considered the “Red Horse and Red Goat Calamity” which will go on from February 17, 2026 to January 25, 2028. The last time this happened was 1966-1967. What happened in those two years for you if you were alive then, do you remember?

I love Astrology and being a fire sign myself, when I realized this was the year of the Horse but also the Fire Horse, it was a bit of an “aha” moment. Certain things really started to make more sense and as I began to research about this particular two year “calamity” that is upon us, I started to get really excited. Before I knew about the Fire Horse year, I could already sense something within my own fiery passion this year that was a little different. Can’t quite put my finger on this exactly. But it was something like, less hesitation towards things that were directly being controlled by my fire and also a comfort in trusting the way that that fire was burning now. The flames had changed. Choosing truth over safety felt a bit better. Something inside me is brighter right now. The existing flames that govern my life are blazing harder and with more intensity but also in a controlled, confident and easy to manage sort of way.

Fire is energy, passion, enthusiasm, movement and when combined with the energy of the horse, watch out because that energy is amplified to an almost chaotic place. I don’t know about you but I have felt even more on fire since the beginning of this year. This is not a quiet year. This is momentum and ignition. This year is decisive movement. The Fire Horse year is really quite beautiful. We are less tolerant of what drains us, more focused on movement than processing and something inside us feels sharper, more honest and clicked into place.

When you befriend the energies within you and understand how they function in every moment and when you let them speak and listen carefully and don’t apologize for the direction they are taking you, and when you trust in those energies however they may have shifted or grown, the Universe answers. The external energy combining with our internal producing an invisible alignment that is felt and unseen, hard to explain, but so full of force. Something is building.

Fire Horse energy does not wait for permission it rewards boldness and trusting in the self. “If you have been preparing, this year will feel like acceleration. The Fire Horse brings sudden opportunity, fast pivots, passion reignited, courage tested and visibility increased. It exposes where you are playing small. It amplifies where you are already aligned. This is not chaotic fire it is directional fire. The people who win in a Fire Horse year are the ones who move when the door opens instead of overthinking whether they deserve to walk through it. You are either pulled forward by momentum, or pushed forward by pressure. If you have felt the shift building, it’s not random. The frequency has changed.”

I found that description online somewhere and to everyone who needed to read that today, I hope it has given you some juice and some clarity. There’s so much about this fiery year that’s in store for all of us, I can feel it, it’s going to be intense and full of freedom. It’s going to be sensitive and powerful with lots of profound inner change. I already feel things changing and it just started. Damn that Fire Horse works fast, super sonic speed.

I found an amazing summary online by someone who really knows Chinese Astrological intricacies and instead of me paraphrasing, I’m going to share his words directly because they deserve to be read by more people, especially my people, you reading this, you are my people! So here they are. I know you’re smiling right now. As I type this I can feel your energy and the way that the Fire Horse is impacting you too. There are so many people that I care about who are on my mind and in my thoughts as I think about the next two years and what the Fire Horse will bring for you all. Aren’t you glad I started a Blog? Now you don’t need to go anywhere else for wisdom. I got you. Yes…YOU.  

“Fire is that which creates the center – earth. Fire always has a choice. It can harmonize around the center that has already been created. Or, it can reforge that center. So that is what we are doing here if we make that choice.

We all have a center within ourselves. And there are the centers of those things we are a part of. Our families, our communities, our friends, our countries. All of these will feel the heat.

Within ourselves, if we are good at taking responsibility for alignment with our own center – that in which we find our true self – then we can do amazing work.

Many of us need to do this work by making external changes. What we create on the outside gives answer to what we feel on the inside. And becomes a mirror for us to see within ourselves from. A reflection.

And what we create on the outside is going to be a part of the fire that is reshaping the centers of our families and our communities and our countries. So it is very important that we choose to be in good alignment with the lessons this inner fire brings us, so that the center we choose to create is a center that is able to be true for all of us. For we are all connected and our truths fit like puzzle pieces into the inner truths of others.

When there is division between us, it is a sign that our truths are not in alignment with each other. Like a bunch of pieces of metal scraps before they go into the forge to be melted down. That is what these years bring us. The heat to melt away our divisions, allowing us to be reforged as one again.”

Isn’t that beautiful? Thank you to the individual who produced this wonderfully detailed analysis. It was an important read for me today. I think Fire years tend to be more dramatic, fast moving and action oriented collectively and I’m definitely feeling the pace now.

February 17th marked the beginning. Did you feel it yesterday? Today? I sure did, what a shift. Now that you know this about this year, I hope you find your own perfect ways to harness this energy and this fire. Will you walk beside it or keep adding kindling to maintain it? Do you want to watch the horse cross the finish line standing in the bleachers cheering loudly or are you riding the horse, racing towards the finish line, wind blowing, gripped reins, breathing heavily, speed underneath you, freedom in your heart, passion in your soul. You get to choose. The fire is here to stay for two years. Use it in positive ways. Let it rage. Let it burn.

Blaze on beautiful souls!

Glitches

~ Emma ~ Leave a comment

There is a glitch with my iPhone and my Mom’s iPhone. We are green and no longer blue when we text each other. With everyone else who has an iPhone we are blue, but the two of us…we are now green. 

Lots of explanations for this the sweet guy at Fido said. He and a lovely other guy took a lot of time fussing with all sorts of settings, trying different things to get us back to blue. Two very smart, tech savvy guys and two iPhones, now green instead of blue.

I Googled this before going to Fido and tried endless things yesterday with no luck. It happened at around 2:30pm. I watched it happen. One minute we are blue then the next, boom, green. 

If you have an iPhone then you understand the slight stress here. Just slight. A mystery, what just happened? Why are we green and not blue? Three seconds ago we were blue. My Mom and I texting back and forth our attention now locked in on this “issue” that’s come into our lives. Green and not blue. It’s actually ridiculous thinking that this is a problem. It’s not a problem, just a minor annoyance because things are not like they used to be. 

I secretly think Steve Jobs had this in mind. To screw with everyone. Just continually keep pissing people off even from his grave. Software updates throwing us off every couple months, imposing upon us new things to learn and adapt to, how dare he! Messing with our emotions. No thing or person or device will be in control of my emotions. I will handle this in the way that I’m sure Steve would want me to. And that is, to search high and low, talk to everybody, ask all the bots, Google, to find an answer as to how I can get me and my Mom back to BLUE! 

My first stop was the Fido store where I got my phone. I love the guys there. They are so kind and knowledgeable and helpful, the employees at this specific Fido store on Davie street are just next level. I won’t go anywhere else (except the Apple store if necessary, which in this case it was, I’ll get to that next). And the conclusion that we came to after trying all sorts of things was, that, this is just a system glitch and we would need to wait for the next software update whenever that may be, another mystery, in order for things to reset. Or, he said, to try a factory reset but backup everything first and see if that fixes it. 

“Factory reset” two terms that really scare the crap out of me. I love my phone factory. My factory is very special. If I need to wipe it and my Mom’s I just, I’m just, not prepared for this level of panic today. I can’t afford to lose anything else at this point. Reset my factory? I’d rather have a root canal. Two. Being green is enough stress for today. I’ll happily stay green, just don’t touch my Factory.

So, with that information, I bust down to the beautiful glass encased Apple store that beams with white calming light at the corner of Howe and Georgia street. When you walk towards the store, there are lovely concrete steps outside leading you towards the big glass revolving doors. It’s got this heaven like feel as you approach it. I wonder if Steve had that in mind too when he saw the actual stores infrastructure in his mind. Probably. Maybe he thinks or thought he was God? Or maybe he wasn’t involved in this aspect at all. It doesn’t matter really. Don’t even get me started on the staircase that leads from the Sales floor up to the second floor where the “Fixers” are. It’s like the second your foot touches the first step of this staircase, the ability to overthink gets wiped from your Universe, the ability to think period, becomes a challenge. You just start feeling and imagining, and everything else goes quiet as you take each step. Exactly what the Apple Gods envisioned I think.

And when you’re inside Apple it’s like another planet where people speak a different language and they know how to bring a sense of calm back to your world just with their smiles and attitude of “we can fix this, no problem,”  it’s like you know that, all your life’s problems will be taken care of in here and the second you leave the store, the world and your life will be righted and a lot brighter somehow. 

My phone is like my kid. I don’t have any actual human children so I use devices and animals as my kids and when something is up with one of them, they’re green instead of blue, holy hell I’m going to use every inch and ounce of my healing power, my wisdom, my ruthlessness to nurse my baby back into action. We all have glitches and it’s the kindness of other people and our own willingness to breathe love and compassion into our experience of these glitches, ours and other people’s, that makes life so beautiful.

As I walked to Apple though, I thought how non big of a deal this is. We are green now when we used to be blue. There is absolutely no difference or change in anything else, just the colour of our text bubbles and it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong. We are communicating just fine now in green as we always did when we were blue. But something is different now and it’s up to us to choose how we handle this glitch for however long it decides to stay in our lives, staring at us every day. 

I kept thinking, maybe we’re not supposed to be blue anymore, we are being set apart just the two of us for some reason and that maybe this means something else? The Universe sending us a message (in green not blue obviously) and that, according to my last post about mystery, that, we should start paddling towards it, accept it, believe in it, and not search so hard to solve it when it’s not causing us harm or changing anything in our lives for the worse. Maybe this mystery is supposed to sit there with us and it will resolve when it’s supposed to and I shouldn’t be running around to Fido and Apple asking questions and searching to get back to blue. Except my curiosity gets peaked with technology and I love learning things about my phone, my kid, so, I still wanted to do a bit of investigation because it was, odd, that it is just us and with everyone else we are blue. The Fido guys were at a loss, and they know, A LOT. So, a trip to Apple was important for my brain. 

I am currently sitting in my hallway typing this in my Notes because I had this blog post in my head all day going from store to store and it was busting out through my ears and nose, so I’m sitting here on my rug with my jacket and boots still on typing away. When this happens, when stuff swirls in my mind I have to stop everything that I am doing, sit down, cross my legs, breathe and let it rip. I’m grateful I’m not holding a pen and a notebook right now and that my wonderful phone has this writing feature. There should be more writing features, for people who, like to write and type, a lot. I bet there are, I just haven’t discovered them yet. I should have asked the Apple guys, oh well, doesn’t matter really, the Notes app is great and works just fine. 

The consensus, after much prodding and three different geniuses thinking and fussing with both of our phones was, that I needed to make an appointment and come back in a day or two, they were not about to give up, and it was almost closing time. I scheduled a time to return in two days and for now, we remain green. Will we revert back to blue ever again? Who knows but they reassured me that this has happened before and that they are certain that in two days me and my Mom, will be back to blue. 

I had an inkling that this is what they would say and I was prepared for it and my Mom will be ok too, we are resilient the two of us. Just bring it on. But just like any glitch that throws your system slightly off kilter and remains a mystery, how you choose to understand it and allow it to affect you is what matters. Steve knew what he was doing, taking over the emotional health of the world. Nah. You’re always in charge of your own internal mess, chaos, calm and beauty, it would be nice though, if Apple dished out less glitches. I guess I could surrender my iPhone for an Android, but, I’m very loyal, and there’s glitches with anything, so I’ll stick with this kid, she’s been a blessing so far, glitches and all. 

Welcoming her glitches and loving them and learning from them, enhancing my mental attitude, maybe that’s what Steve had in mind. I do believe the Universe threw this glitch at us for a reason. The timing is comical. Here’s something else you sweet resilient souls, will you let it burn or let it dissolve? I’m ok with being green. I’ve always felt more green than blue anyway. I love green. Kermit the Frog would argue with me however, as he says, “It’s not easy being green.”

I’m coming to like them, these glitches. Forcing me to orient my thoughts and feelings and even a little bit faster too. And the more glitches that happen, the better.

Thanks Apple and thanks Steve! Keep the glitches coming, watch me love them, welcome them. I am fireproof. And so is my Mom and so are YOU. You can handle it all and more and the more that comes at you, glitches here and there, don’t lose sight of the bigger picture. Does. This. Actually. Matter? No. 

What mattered today and what will always matter is the great conversation and funny discussion I had at the Fido store with two very nice and amusing guys. We even gave each other a high five before I left the store. (Initiated by me of course, I thought hugging it out might be a bit much, but, I thought about it). 

What matters is the warm, kind, patient, honest, determined and friendly humans at Apple who just want to make your experience with your phone and thus your life, better.

I have shelter, food, running water, a bed to sleep in, clean air, sturdy healthy legs to get me from A to B, healthcare, my eyesight, safety, and love. I am grateful for these and never take them for granted.

What matters is that my Mom is here, I am here, and we can text each other any day, any time, from anywhere, whether we are blue or green, makes no lick of a difference. 

Happy Glitching! 

(Ok time to get off the floor)

I Don’t Know, It’s a Mystery

~ Emma ~ 1 Comment

“I realized for the first time in my life: there is nothing but mystery in the world, how it hides behind the fabric of our poor, browbeat days, shining brightly, and we don’t even know it.” – Sue Monk Kidd

You know those days where you finally stumble upon some answers? Not a lot, but just enough to make you go, “ahhhh, and there it is.” Answers to questions you have been searching and hoping for a little too tirelessly for a while now. The days where all of a sudden it clicks. I have had days lately where a lot of things were not making sense. Pondering over meanings of certain events, actions, people, interpreting certain signs, (maybe misinterpreting them?)

I love signs. And over the course of two days the Universe was screaming at me. Sign after sign after sign. The frequency was wild, I almost lost my hearing. I even had a moment where I said out loud to myself, with a chuckle and a smile, “Ok! Ok, ok, ok, I got it, I hear you, thanks guys!”

There is so much mystery around us, but inside it there always sits a plan that I think we should find comfort in trusting, even when it is far from obvious. The signs are there because there is a bigger plan. An important purpose for the confusion. A reason for the unreasonable. A method to the madness. Like that Polonius guy said in Hamlet, “Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t.” That has to be one of the best lines (maybe a close second to this one: “What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today!”).

There is a lesson in the agony of the unknown and incomprehensible. When we seek answers in places that used to be reliable and dependable sources of wisdom, which now seem to be failing us, and when we look to familiar voices or thoughts in an effort to gain insight and for some reason that wisdom just isn’t following, I think there is a lot to learn from this. There is friction now in that search to solve the mystery for a reason. Looking for a sense of sureness that isn’t supposed to be there yet. “Be still and know.” Glennon Doyle says, “StopMovingStopTalkingStopSearchingStopPanickingStopFlailing. If you just stop doing, you’ll start knowing.”

It’s good to talk things out, find different ways to make sense of something. It’s great to ask others and get opinions and to analyze scenarios and outcomes. But sometimes in doing that, we can lose sight, get lost and be taken away from the very brutal fact that mystery will always be there in varying degrees and solving one mystery just frees up space for more. And when you invite someone else in to help solve the mystery, search the internet, or read books by experts, in my experience recently, it makes the mystery into something bigger than it needs to be and it turns mystery into a quest.  

Don’t go searching. When there’s a jolt of mystery in my life and I want it to dissolve to reveal what’s under the surface, my new stance and developed sense tells me to allow it and don’t seek to dissolve it. It has evolved and gotten stronger and more complex for a reason. Like a huge wave building. You’re sitting on your surf board watching this behemoth arrive, bigger and bigger, growing and growing, showing you it’s face, prepping you to start paddling, the anticipation increasing to next level fear, and you’re watching very carefully the timing of each inch of growth of this wave.

Watching the mystery grow. Something about that makes me feel thrilled but also uneasy. Letting it build without resistance. Getting excited for its peak when you know that once that wave gets closer and you get to stand up, ride it, feel the height of where it’s taking you, the sprays of water pelting on your face, the motions you need to adapt to, forcing your muscles to do their thing, just the two of you, the wave and you, dancing in that domination and submissive tango, that incredible speed at which the wave is now, in many ways, directing your destiny.

Surfing is a wonderful feeling. Riding waves is an experience worth having. If you have ever surfed a decent sized wave, you know what I am talking about. Just watching surfers as they descend down the pipe can take you to similar places just from standing on the shore. Watching what happens to both surfer and wave as they connect. It’s beautiful.

Riding that wave of mystery however big it is and for however long it lasts, you do eventually reach the shore and the mystery somehow does completely dissolve as if it never existed in the first place. Solving the mystery only comes from our own action or inaction, our choices and our own “knowing” deep inside ourselves, as well as, and maybe most importantly, trusting in something bigger.

I love that waves are never exactly the same and one moment they are enormous and then the next, they don’t exist. Getting to see one, ride one, enjoy one, feel exhilarated as a result of one and then all of a sudden poof it’s gone, like you never touched it and it never touched you, but the memory of those few seconds did something miraculous. The mystery was very alive and then it vanished because of what you did or did not do, what you thought, believed and what you trusted within yourself.  

What I loved about surfing too was that you knew that as you were paddling out, the next wave and that next ride, wasn’t going to be the same as the last one. That darn addicting mystery. How is this wave going to feel, am I going to feel less or more of what I just felt? I could sit all day on my board just out there watching the waves, listening, feeling, legs dangling in the water, board in between my legs just letting the waves pass and pass without riding any of them. Sitting there watching everyone else ride and have the time of their lives. There was always something peaceful about doing that. Sitting and waiting. Watching. Just breathing slowly and calmly with the ocean, me and my board, taking my time and not rushing into every wave that came at me. Making calculations. Evaluating the mystery in each kind of wave in an effort to understand how they function, build, swell, barrel, their shoulders, where their rip current is, the closeouts.

What each wave gives you is never exactly the same. So, appreciating the novelty and uniqueness of each one and how similar yet very different they can be in the way they make you feel when riding them, is I think a big part of the thrill of doing it and participating in the mystery of the ocean. The variety of feels and how each wave moves even though they are of the same force, same element, and once you’re up on that board it’s you and only you, who get to choose how you ride it.

I think we are drawn to mysterious and unpredictable things and situations sometimes. Good and not so good things happen as a result of that. Maybe there’s two or three types of people in this regard. Ones that need to know, plan, foresee and stay comfortable in the familiar and routine and predictable. Then there are the ones that enjoy the not knowing, wondering, the fact that nothing about what they are doing or where they’re going can be controlled and they’re not interested in controlling it, outcomes are not easily foreseen, and they have absolutely no idea what is coming next nor feel the desire to plan ahead for it. The third kind being someone who sits happily in between both of these. I think that’s where I might sit, fluctuating between the two in an effort to find balance.  

Not having any direction or understanding where it is that you are going, on occasion, is actually in a way having some direction don’t you think? Does that make sense? Maybe not. “I have direction. My direction is a mystery.”

“Having direction” is a saying that perplexes me a bit. Can we actually have this? “I have good direction” she said. What does she mean by this? That there is less mystery in her life? She’s actively controlling and trying to minimize mystery? She’s focused on staying on a certain path only? Is someone guiding her telling her which way to go?

The Dictionary defines mystery as “something that is difficult or impossible to understand or explain.” She probably means that she understands where she wants to go and how to get there and why. But you can have a great sense of direction but also be flooded with things that are difficult or impossible to understand or explain.

You know how to surf, how to paddle out, time it perfectly, when to pop up, how to guide the board and bend your knees and how to do this dance, but, what that wave is going to do once you’re actually riding it…total mystery! Why is that so appealing? Maybe because it encourages rapid fire adapting to the conditions just like any fast-moving sport, and we want to feel like we’re killin’ it? I’m going to fire myself out there and ride that sucker and hope for the best. What is hoping for the best? The best feeling, the richest dopamine and adrenaline rush, the smoothest, most perfect ride? Hoping I don’t fall on my face? What the “best” is, obviously is individual. For me, the best outcome of surfing a wave is that there is no best outcome. The art of doing it, is the best outcome. If I bail, amazing. If I rip it, amazing. If I sit there and watch it and don’t do a damn thing, amazing.

Surrendering to the “not knowing” and what the exact outcome will be once you’re out there, alone in the ocean, no one but you, board, water, current, weather and energy, is uncertain. But in fourteen seconds I am going to know, if I decide to. Learning to surf and honing this skill, understanding waves and the ocean, is an education so much more than learning just a sport and a lifestyle. It’s really fun and exciting and requires a lot of strength and stamina, but what it does to your mind and spirit, I’m not sure many other sports on Earth do the same thing.

Waves usually have a good goal, to bring you to shore. To take you in the direction you are looking towards. There’s no mystery there. I think that, until we decide to paddle out towards them without fear, welcoming them and what is to be found there, we lose out on the gifts that surrendering affords us. The waves and the mystery of them, are the answers themselves.   

When we accept, trust, love and welcome the unknown into our lives we are paddling harder towards a bigger truth and following a more vibrant path. The wave that seems way too big to even paddle for, isn’t. It’s been created just for you. The size is just right. The speed is perfect. The amount of mystery it’s holding is the correct amount. Trust it. And trust that you can ride this wave and you can rip down that pipe and still come out alive (and then get completely addicted to that feeling and never stop doing it).

I used to be a wave addict. Even watching them would get me high. But really surfing one, that rush, what a mysterious feeling, I’ve never been able to replicate that. There is an energy between you and the ocean that you just cannot get anywhere else.

Every mysterious event, coincidental occurrence and unexplainable situation is, I believe, a message. Some stronger than others. Waving at that message and excitedly paddling towards it, watch what happens. You can always stop paddling once you get closer to it, re evaluate, sit, wait, let this wave roll under you, then as the next one appears make a new call. But always keep paddling in that direction signaling to the ocean that you’re on board, literally. Expressing the cohesion.

Each wave will take you on a great ride. There will be more clarity in front of you because you paddled out. Things will make more sense. You are on top of the mystery, guiding it as it is guiding you. Both going to the same place. The mystery wants you to give it all you got in all forms of belief and trust. It is not your foe but a friend sent to help guide you. And you are allowed to take comfort in knowing that no matter how big and intimidating it is right now, it won’t be this big forever.

When we allow the Universe to take care of us, it gives us leverage to create something wonderful. Trusting in signs, messages and in the confusions, can take you from feeling directionless and throw you smack dab into a place where meaning and importance for what you are here to do and be, is more obvious. Trust is so powerful. Belief and optimism are like elixirs that if you consistently drink them, they keep you hydrated in the most valuable ways.

Whatever you’re thinking right now reading this, it’s valid and there’s truth to it. This post today is your sign. Go with it!

When we fully let go, breathe and let the wave of mystery penetrate our vibrational forces, befriending it, we can find more beauty and more significance in the life we are trying our best to live. We begin to connect more deeply to a higher purpose.