Old Soul

~ Emma

Old soul here is a story.

You came to me, I came to you, today in this time because our souls were together once before in a past time. You feel what you do, I feel what I do because we have felt this before. It’s something inside of us that is familiar, but also beyond both of us. I know you, you know me.

We were together on a ship out at sea.

There were many others on the ship and there were catastrophic storms, illnesses and grief. We latched onto each other and took to work holding, healing, tending to, and protecting the ones around us during hardship. We were the strong ones looking out for them.

As the winds blew, the ship rocked, the waves surmounting the boat, the rain torrentially hitting, soaking, freezing, we did not stop. We saved many fellow shipmen, but some we could not. I always felt deep pain for the ones we lost. The pain lasted weeks, months, from not being able to save them all. It’s why I am who I am.

At the end of each treacherous day, you and I would comfort each other. After giving our energy, using our resources, applying our care, we would sit down in a corner. A special corner. This is a memory I am not sure why and how I have but it’s there. Wet, cold, hungry and embraced.

We would sit in this corner under a blanket drinking in each other’s warmth. I was huddled inside you, your arms wrapped around me and we were inside a cocoon regenerating one another’s vibration. Protecting ourselves from those around us for just a moment, to stop, to breathe, to give one another comfort and solace. We were tired. So exhausted from fighting the storms, battling the rages and helping to keep the ship afloat so everyone felt as safe as possible. Hoping always to make it to that wondrous shore off in the distance. Land. Sand. Trees. Fresh water. Land animals. A better life. The two of us were nominated the care takers of this ship, the givers, the knowers and the bringers of light and humour during fearful times. We wore the badges proudly.

The day we met in this life, before thinking, before knowing, I gave you a glass of water out of instinct and it was the only thought, the only action, the only understanding that I had in that moment that felt necessary. I must give him water to drink.

It has so much meaning to me now after being reunited with this story. When I looked at you it was as if I had quenched your thirst before and this was just a reenactment of where we had once been. It is a story written many, many years ago and it’s why, we will always be connected and protecting each other from wherever we are during whatever storms we may face. We are experienced and we are stronger because of one another.

It’s why letting go feels strange.

Because we were latched so tightly, so deeply, and in such meaningful position and purpose once before, that deep inside it’s a recognition difficult to separate from. But it is wonderful to know and to understand. There is beauty in it. But letting go of it, doesn’t undo what we did, what we have, and the impact we made. Remembering being in that corner of the ship with you, it carries me, reminds me and sends me forward with a force that I am blessed to have.

This story is not untrue.

It is the very truth of a past life experience that I have ever felt and known. The ship, the people, the blanket, the cold, the rain, the waves, the storms, the raging sea, the darkness, the light, the stars, the stillness, it’s all a part of me. And it is a part of you.

The way the moon and its light cared for us, directing our path and leading us exactly here. You are drawn to look up at the sky as am I. It’s what we did. We knew we were being guided well by the stars and so still, we are. We trust and we know.

I hope this story brings to you the feelings and sensations that it brings to me. Deep wisdom, peace, ignited spiritual energy and the most powerful resilience there is.

Brave One

~ Emma

My love you can see and you can know.
I sat up all night thinking how is it so.
It doesn’t feel like much maybe, but I need you to know.
The way you are, the grit on your cheeks, the fear in your bones, the glass over your heart, it’s heavenly oh.

You aren’t the boy in the yard, or the lost one who is alone.
You have delicate ears, soft eyes, rough hands and a soul of stone.
The world has been bothersome and you chose beat over bone.
Beautiful and sweet, pure and kind, grasping to own.

The dust around your body, the particles placing you astray, just wash them away.
There’s a warmth, a cold, a warmth, a cold, just try and stay, just today, okay?
You are protected by the special ones, to that I am one, you can play.
Different shades, green and yellow, purple and black, no matter, they’re colours all the same, tones created from fray.

Lifting and moving, rolling and sliding you are more than tools, silt and trucks.
You are lightning and strength and sensitive forces inherited from the mucks.
The windows are always open you can choose what to breathe, it doesn’t have to suck.
Without the blocks there is nothing to know how to surrender to and survive… shucks.

The giving from your hand and the easy way you go, the wind sweeping into your nose, you appease.
I listen from all the way over here, I can hear the woe and the yearn to please.
The last time you spoke, it was a goodbye that will rest far out wide and down in the depths of many seas.

I will always be watching you, my eyes scan the valleys and search the caves.
Listen not to the ones who hold defence, who let compassion slide, who can’t see inside, who enjoy the rave.
Your tired mind, your stretched emotions, listen less to them, be brave.
The sparkle in your chest, you can rely and listen, you know what’s gone, and what you gave.

Letting Go

~ Emma

Missing them only means you are human. That the connection mattered and was important. Missing them doesn’t mean you are meant for each other, or it’s destiny or that it’s important to forget the incompatibilities because the good stuff was so good. Missing them means you lived, and gave your heart and now you are changed. Maybe you’re changed forever because of them. You aren’t changed for the worse because they are gone, but you are changed for the better because they were there. Not everyone on this earth is lucky enough to have experienced that one soul who, at the right time shows up and reaches inside you and ignites something unexpected, special and sort of life changing and maybe saw something in you that no one else ever had.

Even if you’d done a lot of healing up until when they arrived and you understood your patterns, your nervous system and you were more aligned with your true authentic self, if that person got a seat in your car, your partially healed car, your solitary car that generally remains empty without any passengers, that person, was definitely meant to sit beside you. And when they left the vehicle, they’re actually still sort of there, maybe just now in the backseat…or the trunk, or hanging out on the roof.

I don’t think there’s an amount of time, analysis, processing, understanding, reminiscing, questioning, trying not to miss, or rationalizing that will take them away from that nice place inside of you that is and forever will be, grateful for what they gave. Even when you know that you are better off without them and that you can’t have them in your life, that they are not meant to stay, it somehow doesn’t make it easier knowing that, especially if there wasn’t anything really awful, or the ending wasn’t terrible enough to have you feeling really relieved. That’s maybe even harder, when it’s just a slow fade, a distance created unintentionally, (or maybe intentionally), just two people moving in certain directions whose lives, needs, interests just no longer jive.

I think that some people are directed onto our path to teach us necessary lessons and to bring out pieces and parts of us that had been dormant prior to their arrival. And the length of time they are to stay with us, a specific calculation not to go unnoticed or ignored. But to examine in that very exact time frame what was gleaned, about yourself, about them, about the connection…and about life.

What was awakened as a result of their presence could have only come from them and no one else. The wisdom acquired from having them in your life, a necessary and difficult teaching. It’s cosmically surreal and amazing if you think about it really intimately. Who you were in those moments with them maybe you won’t be with anyone else or maybe you will but a slightly different and better version. It’s beautiful the way the Universe can send us the people who are meant to help us understand and learn the things we are supposed to and then take them away to teach us that important life skill of knowing when to let go and to give us the clarity that their absence brings.

And maybe out of the two of you, there was one who felt it harder, who maybe this relationship meant more and they cared harder, let their walls down faster and easier and just made the decision to fly and feel it all and to let what needed to come out during that time, just explode and flow freely. And maybe that’s where the misstep was. Or maybe you both were just on completely different pages of the same book and never really reading things the same way the entire time. Whatever it was or wasn’t, when you stop forcing, everything that is meant for you starts flowing effortlessly. Having their arrival and departure both feel unforced, is a strong and natural indication that the both of you still are, on the right path. Missing someone isn’t a message or sign that you’re not healing, it’s just a natural part of letting go.

I’m forever thankful for you. I’ll never forget and I’ll always be sending positive energy your way. Thank you for seeing me and for caring. My heart carries your warmth and I hope yours carries mine too.